You didn’t think I would write a post about a morning routine without following up about a bedtime routine, did you? I wouldn’t leave you hanging like that. Dr. Huberman wouldn’t leave us hanging like that either. No matter how good your morning routine is, it’s going to be hard to feel energized and motivated if you’re not getting sufficient sleep.
It took me a long time to come around to the idea of focusing on my sleep. It’s a no-brainer, but still, I resisted adding one more thing to my “self-help, self-care” list. At the end of a long day, the last thing I want to do is be disciplined.
But I wanted to write a blog post to accompany the morning routine one, and I also knew it would be good for me. First, I educated myself. I listened to Dr. H’s lengthy (and fascinating) interview with Dr. Matthew Walker, a renowned sleep expert and author of “Why We Sleep.” Dr. Huberman put together a Sleep Toolkit with practical advice on how to improve your sleep. Like the morning routine, I curated it to be my own.
Like the morning routine, not every step has to be done in order, nor does every step have to be done every night. Dr. H’s sleeping routine is more comprehensive than mine, and he emphasizes that you must find what works for you. (Not drinking alcohol or taking THC before bed is one of the cornerstones of Dr. H’s bedtime routine, but since I don’t drink or smoke/ingest anyway, that didn’t make it onto my list.)
Here are the 10 steps that have noticeably improved the quality of my sleep and thus overall improved my mood, cognition, and energy throughout the day:
- Wake up at the same time every day
- Get 10-20 minutes of sunlight as soon as you can after waking (or, as soon as the sun rises).
- No caffeine after 11 am*
- Limit daytime naps to 45 minutes or less.
- Watch the sunset.
- No bright lights or screens after ~8 pm, including phones and TV.
- Take ~200 mg of magnesium at ~8 pm.
- Take a hot shower and sleep in a cool room.
- Meditate, or listen to a Non-Sleep Deep Rest recording.
- Wear ear plugs and an eye mask.
*This one has been huge for me! I have experimented and I have noticed that if I drink caffeine after 11 am, which is about 10 hours before my bedtime, I have a harder time getting to sleep and staying asleep.
I have to admit that I have been pleasantly surprised by the results. I’m one of those people who didn’t realize how sleep deprived they were until they started getting better sleep.
Like my last post, I want to emphasize a very important element of these tips: this is not about achieving so-called “ultimate” performance. This is not about optimization for the purposes of productivity. While that is a nice benefit, that is not the point. The point is to increase your overall health and well-being so that you have more efficiency and clear-headedness. My hope is that you will exercise the freedom to actually enjoy your life and do the things that you want to do.
When you’re not sleeping well, your brain just isn’t firing at full capacity to fully enjoy life. Wading through the molasses and fog of exhaustion is just not fun. I don’t know about you, but I have been craving more fun in my life. I have a habit of watching YouTube late at night, the epitome of self-sabotage when trying to get a restful night’s sleep. When talking to someone about my irresistible urge to watch YouTube at night, they asked me, “What is it that you’re seeking when you turn to YouTube?” I answered “Fun. I just want to have a little bit of fun, especially at the end of a long day of endless chores and work tasks.”
Ironically, one way to have more fun is to have better sleep, so that I have more energy throughout the day to have fun. So, I have been trying to incorporate more fun throughout my day.
Why is it so hard to prioritize sleep? It really did take me 34 years to get to this point. I think that for people like me, we are already stretched to our limits. When I reach the end of my day, the last thing I want to do is add another list of things I have to do. I mentally cannot add more discipline to my routine. When it comes to the end of my day, all I need is some freedom. I was very resistant to focusing on a strict sleep routine. Besides, I felt like my sleep was sufficient enough and didn’t think I was lacking in it enough to make any major adjustments.
I could power through most situations and I ran the cost-benefit analysis in mind over and over again: it was better to work late into the night and get stuff done than to “waste” time sleeping. When working on a deadline, you don’t have a choice. Or, maybe it feels like you have no choice. But, Do you have a choice? Maybe one of the great lies of our lives is that we don’t have a choice. Maybe thinking that we are trapped in the cycle of exhaustion is the epitome of our abusive relationship with the systems of oppression. Maybe we actually do have a choice. Maybe we actually do have some agency.
Because what is the point of sacrificing my body and my health and well-being now just so that I can retire later? Give up my freedom now for freedom later? What about now? Getting better sleep will ultimately help me take care of my body better. It will make me more efficient so that I can get my work done faster with fewer mistakes so that I can life freely and fully. And that is something worth sacrificing for.
It’s not easy to say “no” to the pull of YouTube, that feeling of complete ease and disassociation right before I fall asleep, when everything else falls away. What is underneath my desire to watch YouTube at night? FREEDOM. Being and feeling and living FREE in terms of what I can do with my time. That’s what it’s all about. That’s what I’m working toward.
Ultimately, you have to ask yourself: what behaviors are making you more or less free? Truly free. Free to be yourself, free to do what you want with your time. I had to ask myself, “Is watching YouTube really allowing you to be free? Is drinking coffee whenever you want really allowing you to be free? Is watching TV late at night really allowing you to be free?” The answer, I found, was no. Those things weren’t actually making me more free.
Are those behaviors pulling you deeper and deeper into the matrix? With which behaviors are you plugged deeper into the vortex of completely losing sight of yourself, who you are and what you are doing? And ultimately not even being mindful of what you are choosing? Or, is getting better sleep ultimately allowing you to think more clearly and therefore be more present to your reality? I think, it’s the latter.
Maybe you are trapped. By being present to that reality, you can recognize that the keys are always in your pocket, that you can always walk away. Abusive relationships are not just about people who don’t know how to break it off with a lover. It’s any relationship where you feel like you can’t leave. You can’t say no, you can’t walk away, you have no other options. That is false. That is the matrix. You’re not a bad person for wanting to be plugged in and absorbed by someone else’s story on YouTube, thinking that their story is reality. But it’s key to stay mindful that you always have a choice between the red pill and the blue pill. So put down the coffee, get off your screen, get your sleep, and then try to tell me that you don’t feel better.
